When I first started my Love Across Canada project I didn’t have any couple on Vancouver Island. I knew that its my goal to find someone in one of my favourite places in Canada. I didn’t expect that a few weeks later I will find a couple who will inspire me so much! I started emailing with Roberta when I was in Kelowna. Her daughter gave me her my email address because she heard about the Love Across Canada project. I loved it when Roberta told me that the photo shoot and sharing their story with me will be her and Arden’s another adventure! I already knew that the session will be very special for me and that it will have a special place in my heart.
I met Roberta and Arden at their apartment in Campbell River on Vancouver Island. A few days before the photo shoot they got back from Hawaii where they spent a few weeks. From the first minute I fell in love with their energy, love of life and love for each other.
It’s amazing to see people who are together for 63 year and they enjoy their lives so much! They still have energy to travel, explore new places and try new things!
We talked about their marriage. How is it to be together so many years. They raised 3 children and travel the world but Vancouver Island is where they spent most of their lives and this is still the most beautiful place. This is how Roberta and Arden answered my questions. At the end of our chat they also gave some advices to newly married couples! You’re welcome!
What is your dream and what is your biggest dream together?
Roberta: We have had so many wonderful experiences but I like to be with Arden on the Island and enjoy nature. That’s about it.
I also like to be with my friends, I’m not really a loner type so my dream, I would like to continue what I do right now which is meeting with my friends 2 -3 time per week, go for lunches and just share my thoughts and feelings with my girlfriends.
Arden: Enjoy the good health what we have and take advantage of that. Do the things we can do. That’s why I really like to travel. Our children have their own lives so if we want to go somewhere for a longer period of time, we can do it. Of course, traveling is much more tiring then in the past.
We have 3 kids and we always put them first. Now, we can do what we want.
If you could go anywhere in Canada right now without any limitations of money and time, where would you go and why?
Arden: I think I would go to the east coast. I have never been there. It’s been always a little dream which I have. My traveling was bias or limited. In the winter time I like to go somewhere where warm to skip the weather and the rain we get. I never wanted to leave the island in the summer time because it’s so nice. Right now, we have more time so we could go to the east coast during the summer, when it’s warm.
Roberta: I would love to see Newfoundland. I have friends who’ve been there and talk so positively about the beauty of it. I always had a thought that it would be great to see this part of Canada and any of the easter provinces. I have been as far as Quebec City so I still have to discover the eastern part of the country.
What is the best thing about you Roberta which Arden brings out in you?
Roberta: I’m not sure if its the best thing or not but he sure keeps an eye on how I look. He always lets me know if he likes or not something on me. He keeps his thumb on me in terms of spending money.
What is the best thing about you Arden which Roberta brings out in you?
Arden: My appearance is really important to her and just the way I’m as a partner so I need to make sure that I act accordingly to make her feel good. She brings out good things in me and I don’t mind at all because this is why I prefer to do any way. We both are very compatible.
What inspires you the most about Canada?
Roberta: I feel proud to be Canadian. I like the Canadian attitude and how other countries think highly about us as a nation.
Arden: We are well thought of. The doors are open for Canadians and we feel that when we travel to other countries. Canadians are very polite, very considered and you can’t buy this things. This comes naturally from being Canadian. I feel really good about Canada. I’m a little bias because I have lived in British Columbia for almost all my life but I’m proud to be Canadian. I also do enjoy the vastness, the space and wildlife.
If you could describe Canada in two single words what words would you use?
Arden: free, borderless.
Roberta: beautiful, friendly.
What is or what was the most difficult part of your relationship?
Roberta: Most difficult for me was when our children were getting toward teens and we had to try to work together to work on our discipline, our goals for the kids and sometimes we didn’t always match each other. Luckily we always talked it over and decided how we are going to deal with the issue. Raising children is a very difficult job. Probably one of the hardest jobs you do in your relationship.
Arden: I would say that there were really difficult parts but also there were always adjustments. I had to learn to adapt to certain things to make everything work. Sometimes they were small issues like make sure you pick up your dirty clothes. We always tried to work together.
When we got married I was always number one. As soon as kids came along I was number 2 and then I was number 3 but that didn’t bother me because I was pleased that kids came first. I think a lot of men have an issue with that and when you don’t make the adjustment it might be hard for your relationship.
Roberta what do you love the most about Arden?
I like his honesty and that he is straight forward. To me honesty is very high end on the list of things.
Arden what do you love the most about Roberta?
She is such a considered person. She always puts everyone else first, not herself. Not everyone can do that. She is a real listener. She is a people person and she puts everyone ahead of her.
What wakes you up from the bed every day?
Roberta: There is always time that from time to time we need to be a part so it’s good to know what we want to do during the day. I like that we plan our week and spend some time together but also separate. Arden wants me to be active.
Arden: Our life has changed after moving from home to an apartment. It’s a different life. Taking care of the home was always keeping us busy. Arden was always a very hands on person. He did a great job fixing things on his own but coming here was a little bit of adjustment for us. Not having those needs any longer but I like that we are still active. We wake up in the morning and we talk about our plans for the day. I know that in order to be healthy you have to be active so it’s important to me that we move and have plans.
What one advice would you give to people who are planning to get married or just got married?
Roberta: It’s very important to listen to what your partner says and try to understand what they are saying. Give what you would like to have given. Put your partner first because then you are going to be first for them. In our relationship I would be in control of some issues or things and Arden would be in control of other issues. We always divided the issues and we were happy to have certain responsibilities. Just balance it out.
Arden: Marriage is work and you can not be the boss all the time. It’s not always 50 – 50.
When you get married you can not let you emotion drive your relationship. To make a marriage work the thinking must be very big and thoughtful. You have to have similar goals or even when you come up with your separate goals somehow they have to come up together.